Goonies never… write an original newspaper article

So here’s something I didn’t know, since the 50’s the same newspaper has been appearing in various shows and movies. Turns out I’m far from being the first person to notice this, it’s been common knowledge across the internet for some years now but I thought I would draw the so-called “recurring newspaper” to your attention for the reason below… 

What did you break this time Chunk? 

As an additional side project (read: distraction) I have been chipping away at a reproduction of the Chester Copperpot newspaper from the Goonies. I’ve been spending hours squinting at fuzzy screenshots trying to decipher and piece together the text.

Argh, so blurry! 

And the only clear image of any of the text. 

Rather annoyingly you can only clearly see half a column on either side of the screen so you can't piece together a full sentence. I knew other people had managed to recreate sentences from these screenshots, but the question was how? Had they just made up the missing words?

An immediate investigation …
sured and indications are that …
new light will be shed on …
ation in the near future. A…
facts seem vague but …
feel that …
me...

I started googling, and although I discovered the Goonies Newspaper had been produced by Earl Hays Press I didn't manage to find any of the content. Earl Hays, for those who are unaware, are the producers of most printed material you see in Hollywood movies. Cigarette packets, cereal boxes, you name it; they make it. They are also the creators of the infamous “Recurring Newspaper”. 

Right hand page of the recurring newspaper

This has appeared in so many productions: Power Rangers, Scrubs and Desperate Housewives to name but a few, that it is now pretty much an inside joke.

And here it is, recurring... 

and again...

and again...

and again...

... you get the point. 

At the time I failed to see a connection between that paper and the project I was working on, but a couple of days later I was looking at a newspaper from Back to the Future and some of the text jumped out at me: 

An immediate investigation is as-
sured and indications are that some
new light will be shed on the situ-
ation in the near future. Available
facts seem vague but authorities
feel that time will disclose some
means of arriving at a solution. 

This was the exact article I had been looking for! And that’s when I made the connection. It seems Earl Hays has been recycling the same copy in all of its Newspapers for quite some time. A quick look at the Recurring Newspaper revealed all of the missing text!

Using this new information (and also referencing some other Earl Hays publications) I was able to produce the following file (which you are welcome to use as you see fit). I would say this is 80-90% accurate, with any improvement only being possible with access to the original prop itself.

And to save you from ruining your eyesight trawling the web and squinting at blurry newspaper text I provide below: the full Earl Hays filler text!

The facts regarding the situation remain the same, state the authorities. Details concerning the action have been given a preliminary investigation but it is felt that only by a more detailed study will the true facts become known.  

Of no less importance was the common recognition shown of the fact that any menace from without to the peace of our continents concerns all of us and therefore properly is the subject for consultation and cooperation. This was reflected in the instruments adopted by the conference.  

An immediate investigation is assured and indications are that some new light will be shed on the situation in the near future. Available facts seem vague but authorities feel that time will disclose some means of arriving at a solution.  

Many persons feel at this stage that some legal action is forthcoming but it now becomes common knowledge that there is pressure from the inside which will materially change the aspect of the case.  

While the final outcome of this situation has yet to be determined, it is possible that when all the facts come together at the conference now scheduled for next week, that a decision will be made to possibly satisfy the needs and demands of all parties.  

Future plans will, of necessity, have great bearing on the situation as it now stands. Decisions will have to be made of the actual planning of the project will take considerable time but it is felt that these steps are very important.  

A suggestion that public hearings on applications be limited to one every six months was taken under advisement by the commission.  

It would appear that the preliminary inquiry into this matter has in fact not settled any of the minor differences arising from the situation but rather has aggravated the mood of those petitioning for more local involvement by the council.  

Residents feel that they have been taken advantage of ever since the tax laws governing their additional land holdings were reviewed and increased. These residents are finally getting a public hearing on the matter and are gearing themselves for a long and perhaps ugly battle.  

Thus at this conference all our governments found themselves in unanimous agreement regarding this undertaking. Arrangements for dealing with questions and disputes between the republics were further improved.  

The taxes being paid by the residents of that hard hit community have long been the subject of heated debate among the city council. Now the members of that community are finally being heard and they are making the most of it.  

In any event, arrangements are going forward toward what is hoped will be a friendly meeting of both sides at the conference. This debate has certainly stirred up the local media but things have been some-what smoothed over by the decision of the committee to allow the local television station to cover the conference live.  

The Mayor, meanwhile has diplomatically kept a low profile, at least in public. Sources at City Hall confirm that until teh council has finished, its private meetings concerning the issue, that the Mayor will have no public statement to make on the matter. 

Happy newspaper making!